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Darah ties the knot - oh my!

Just back from a fabulous wedding in Connecticut. My college friend Darah -- whom our circle jokes is the woman who brought the term "holla" to podunk western New York -- tied the knot with her man Wil (and none of us could approve more) in a seaside ceremony that perfectly matched Darah's hilarious personality. Who else would ever think to use Heavy D's "Now That We've Found Love" or Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" as wedding songs? Love you D!

Waterside with my college friends Alison and Maria.

Posted by Sebastian / Etceteras / October 8, 2007 /

A mini college reunion

The other night a whole slew of college friends reunited at a pair of parties in NYC. Here is me and my senior year roommate Becca, and me with our dear friend Brighid. What the hell am I doing with my big mouth?

Posted by Sebastian / SFGW / April 13, 2006 /

Doc Walker is Dead

Gail Walker, a beloved professor at Alfred University who was an expert on death and dying and who herself faced a battle with ovarian cancer in recent years died this morning at age 53. Those of us who knew and loved Doc Walker are staggered by her death.

In 2001, she wrote a farewell essay to the Alfred community in the student newspaper after doctors gave her only a few months to live. Though she had taught one of the university's most popular classes, "Death and Dying," for years -- and had won 10 outstanding faculty awards, more than any other professor -- and was an expert on grieving, her illness was new territory:

"Many people have asked whether being an 'expert' in the field of death and dying has made this process any easier for me," Walker wrote. "I have had to tell them that the roadmap is no substitute for the journey. Although much of what has been happening is familiar from my experiences gained from accompanying others in their time of tribulation, there is a level of poignancy that is distinctly personal."

As she said goodbye that first time, to the small community that had embraced her tenacious spirit, her unparalleled joy for life, and her unselfish and giving spirit, Doc Walker wrote: "I have learned that every moment is precious and fleeting, that every person is unique and irreplaceable. I thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, and for the love we have so freely shared. I thank the Creator of All Life for allowing me more time. May the Great Spirit continue to bless us and keep us, in all of the ways in all of our days."

Just last week, as I was laying outside on a quiet and still Boston evening, looking up at the stars, I got to thinking about Doc Walker. I told myself I needed to email her the next day and see how she was doing because it had been too long. There were some things I wanted to tell her, because she had always been the perfect person with whom to share stuff -- anything, really. No judgments, just that smile and that unforgettable laugh. But I never sent that last note and now today, she is gone forever.

• Read Doc Walker's essay, "Sunset and moonrise: Reflections on living with terminal illness."

• Read her obituary from Alfred University.

Posted by Sebastian / June 8, 2005 /

Rochester and Alfred

Boston was becoming a little crazy this week, so I headed west and had a great time in Rochester with the motley crew of Jules, Kevin, and Alan. I don't have any post-margaritas, post-sake, post-wine photos fit for posting, so I've put my Alfred girls below instead (thanks Brighid for the shots). It's been a year since graduating college, and coming back to Rochester was real deja vu. It feels like home, and always makes me wonder whether Boston is really all it's cracked up to be.

I could rent one of the Rochester's fanciest penthouses for about the same $1200 I pay to share an apartment in Boston. I'm a big fan of Rochester, but that's also because I took the time during college to discover many of the city's best kept secrets. To me, it's not a faded rust belt city but a vibrant city with spectacular parks, museums, restaurants, and cafes. Though much of the inner-city itself is very poor, the suburbs like Pittsford and Brighton boast some of the nation's highest median household incomes. Rochester also has a little sex problem, which I studied in college.

This weekend was Senior Shows at Alfred. It was great to see so many friends and professors, especially the sociology crew. I spent some "quality time" with my "slut roommate," Becca (pic no. 3 above) and Alison (pic no. 1) and Brighid (all 3 shots). In some ways, it was a bizarre homecoming. The place seemed changed, but we're all at different points in our lives now. We all seemed more enamoured of the Terra Cotta Coffee Company than the bar at Manhattan West. Everyone has a vastly deep connection with each other, but after a year apart, we also seemed like strangers to each other. Read my Alfred Sun essay about the weekend.

Strolling the aisles of mega Pittsford Wegmans, as every returning Rochesterian must, was a blast. It's considered the best grocery store in upstate New York, and being in one of the wealthiest towns in America, has the best of everything. Every time I visit Weggers, I fret that we don't have them in Boston. They are a shrine to good food and good living. I still have my Shopper's Club card; it's a treasure that I will keep forever.

Posted by: Sebastian / May 9, 2004